Helping to Stem Loneliness, Local Families Set a Thanksgiving Table for Bard International Students

As the specter of the Thanksgiving holiday loomed this year for Ukrainian student Anna Shtandenko, a lonely day alone seemed the most likely option. Though she had vivid impressions of Thanksgiving from American movies she had watched as a child, turkey, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sauce seemed a far-fetched fantasy meal. 

But last Thursday, Shtandenko was one of 27 students who fulfilled a quest for company and cultural enrichment when 19 families across Dutchess County opened up their homes to Bard College international students for a Thanksgiving meal. 

“Being in the U.S. alone on such an important family holiday can make you feel very lonely,” Shtandenko said. “You know you can’t go home.”  

The hosts also gained from the experience by getting a chance to share traditions, offer members of their families access to foreign students, and educate the students about the lore of a uniquely American food holiday.  

“We thought it would be a great opportunity to open our home, especially on one of our favorite holidays, and share it with a student who may not know what this holiday is about,” said Donna Dupont of Red Hook, who hosted Holdan Silva, a 27-year-old Colombian graduate music student at Bard.  

This isn’t the first time Bard has organized Thanksgiving gatherings for international students. The tradition began 12 years ago as a way to ensure students who are far from home during the holiday season have an opportunity to experience American culture and feel connected to the community, said Manishkamala Kalupahana, senior international student adviser at Bard. For many international students, Thanksgiving is a time when returning home is not an option due to the short five-day duration of the mid-semester break, Kalupahana said. While some students are invited to spend the holiday with friends, others are not. 

“A couple of families were amazing as they were willing to receive their student placements the night before Thanksgiving for those who signed up last minute,” Kalupahana said. 

Dupont signed up to host after seeing an announcement in The Daily Catch and was drawn by the diversity of nationalities Bard attracts to the area. She hoped that, by speaking with Silva, she would learn more about Colombia, as well.

At the same time, Dupont wished to offer her family’s hospitality during a period when Bard is largely empty and quiet. “As a mom, I don’t ever want any student to be left behind,” Dupont said.  

To make Silva feel welcome, Dupont prepared traditional Colombian dishes, including empanadas filled with beef and potatoes, and arepas, corn cakes topped with chicken sofrito, cheese, and pico de gallo. Over dinner, Silva spoke of special events on the Colombian calendar, such as Independence Day on July 20 and Little Candles Day to commemorate the Virgin Mary on Dec. 7. Playing Pictionary and sipping wine, Dupont promised Silva that she and her family would visit Silva, who plays the bass, during an upcoming TŌN concert. 

Shtandenko decided to spend Thanksgiving with an American family to diversify her American experience; most of her friends at Bard are Ukrainian. “It’s easier to find common ground with the people from your country,” she explained. “I feel very grateful that a lot of kind people open their home for students they have never even met [before].” Although her grandparents remain in Western Ukraine, Shtandenko has not been able to return to Kiev since the war began. 

At David Bilodeau’s home, where Shtandenko joined Alina Sharaban, another Ukrainian student, and 16 other guests, she was surprised to learn that core Thanksgiving dishes remain the same across the country despite each family’s unique spin. Bilodeau was flattered to share his recipe for cranberry sauce and for his mother’s apple crisp. “I was honored to have someone from another country take part in the dinner and even ask for recipes,” he said. “I felt I lived up to the American tradition food-wise.” 

Shtandenko said she welcomed the chance to watch and learn as the meal was prepared. “I was trying to remember everything for the time when I can implement [Thanksgiving] in my own future family,” she recalled. As each guest shared a message of gratitude, Bilodeau reflected, too. “It makes you feel warm inside, like you’re giving back,” Bilodeau said. After dinner, Shtandenko and Sharaban played with the family dogs and watched Home Alone with Bilodeau’s family.  

Maha Abdulwahab, 23, from Afghanistan, left her country in June 2021, just before the U.S. withdrew its troops. She joined the family of Claudia Teubl in Clermont. As her parents are now in Tajikistan, Abdulwahab felt the sting of loneliness as the holiday approached. Experiencing Thanksgiving with an American family would, she felt, stanch the pain.  

So, surrounded by 24 other people, including many children, Abdulwahab said she immediately joined in at Teubl’s event, offering to help cut Brussels sprouts while chatting with Teubl’s daughter, Becky Schnackenberg. “It’s part of our culture,” Abdulwahab explained. “Whenever we go to someone’s family, we offer help.”  

Abdulwahab was struck by the diversity of Teubl’s eight children, some of whom live in China and Lebanon, or work in India, or are married to people from Slovakia and Syria. “Even though I have a different background and come from a different culture, I felt comfortable,” Abdulwahab said. “I felt like I fit in.”

Since Abdulwahab is Muslim and only eats halal food, Teubl took the extra step of labeling each dish on the table, ranging from vegetarian to dairy to those containing egg or pork, to ensure she could identify suitable foods to eat. Respecting Muslim traditions that forbid pork in the diet, she also separated the pork and cut it with a different knife, as suggested by her daughter, who lives in Lebanon. “It was very considerate,” Abdulwahab said. Teubl said it’s important to welcome students from different cultures, especially those who are far from family. “The world becomes more real when you know someone from a different country,” said Teubl, whose living room wall is covered with maps. “It’s a way of making the world come into our home.” 

The post Helping to Stem Loneliness, Local Families Set a Thanksgiving Table for Bard International Students first appeared on The Daily Catch.