I was fortunate enough to attend the Lewis Black show at the McCallum Theatre in October. At the end of every show, Black has a feature called “The Rant Is Due,” which is livestreamed on his social media channels. Audience members and fans around the world can submit their own rants for the segment, which Black will read in his hilariously unique way, before offering his two cents.

On this particular night, more than a few of the rants submitted by the McCallum Theatre audience had a theme—the theater’s face mask and vaccination policies.

Unlike most local venues, the McCallum continues to require attendees to show proof of vaccination before entering the theater, and wear face masks while inside. Based on the rants submitted to Black, it was clear that these policies—especially the face mask rule—deeply offended some members of the audience.

On the ride home from the show, one word kept coming into my mind: selfishness.

I really, really dislike wearing face masks. I wear eyeglasses, with both progressive lenses and astigmatism adjustments, and whenever I wear a face mask, I have two choices: I can wear the mask below my glasses and deal with the lenses fogging up, or I can pinch the tippy-top of the face mask between my nose and the bridge of my glasses, which stops the lens-fogging, but throws off my vision. I can work around it, of course, but it is annoying.

Despite my dislike of face masks, however, I deal with them … because I am not a selfish twerp.

Face masks offer some protection for the wearer, yes—but they also offer significant protection to people near the wearer. We know we can’t be sure we’re not asymptomatic and spreading SARS-CoV-2 or some other virus, unless we’re testing ourselves for everything constantly. So … in crowded spaces where people will be sitting around for hours at a time, maybe a face mask policy is not a bad idea?

It’s also worth pointing out that face masks also decrease the spread of viruses other than COVID-19—and we are at the start of what is going to be a record-breaking season of sickness. The respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is filling up children’s wards at some hospitals, and flu-case rates are already sky-high. On Nov. 11, Andrew Pekosz, a professor of molecular microbiology and immunology at the Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health, tweeted out a graph of influenza-testing results for this and the previous four flu seasons at the Johns Hopkins Hospitals—and this year’s line is almost straight up, surpassing the highest number of cases at any other time in the last five years. Normally at this time of year, flu season has barely gotten started.

Meanwhile, some Southern California hospitals are already setting up overflow tents to deal with patients suffering from respiratory illnesses, and local wastewater testing shows that RSV, flu and SARS-CoV-2 levels are on the rise.

There’s one easy, cheap and relatively painless way we could keep all of these illnesses in check to some degree: face masks. Alas, too many Americans are too selfish to wear them given the choice … even while sitting stationary in a crowded theater.

Note: This is the editor’s note that appeared in the December 2022 print edition. Another version of this column was originally published online in the Nov. 17 Indy Digest.

A Note From the Editor: Given All the Illness, Mask Policies Are Perfectly Reasonable is a story from Coachella Valley Independent, the Coachella Valley’s alternative news source.